Letter To Me: Yasmin Marrero-Garcia

 

Dear baby Yasmin

 

I’m writing to you after a meditation on self-worth.

I am already in tears…

 

I felt you today, during the meditation. I felt how you didn’t feel worthy. You didn’t feel like you were worth a thousand suns. I felt how all you knew was to measure your value based on how much money you had or how much you resembled an image of you that was not yours. How these measures made you always feel unworthy of the things you wanted most: love, joy, and freedom. I feel how old these feelings of unworthiness are. How they have long been stored away, hidden behind the words “I am worthy. I am abundant.” It took inviting you in, looking and listening for you, my child self, to really, truly open to how you’ve felt for so long. How we’ve felt for so long…

 

I’m sorry I have suppressed your desire to feel worthy. I’m sorry that we never learned how to feel our worth outside of the external measures the world has taught us - from our weight to our paycheck to our possessions. I hope you are able to forgive me for not looking deeper, look what was underneath the feeling of lack and constant desire to prove ourselves worthy of love. All along you have just been asking to feel your worth, to feel how you are as rich as honey, as valuable as the breath, as beautiful as the flowers blooming, as loved as the sun. I promise to help us see that, to move through these feelings, forgive, and accept that we have felt so hurt - but be reborn into remembering that by merely being alive we’re so valuable, so loved, so abundant. So much energy lives in us and by mere living we are wealth. We are here. We are priceless. We are beautiful. We are worthy. We have always been, and we need no one else to tell us because we now know. We will grieve what has tied us to our unworthiness and bloom into the feelings of our worth, through our laughter, our love, and our smiles. We are the finest riches and unmeasurable like the sun that pours into us. We are worthy and valuable. And I will never let you forget that again.

 

I love you, always and all ways.

- Yasmin.