Learning to be selfish with my energy

This blog

… is where we will share our stories

… is where we want to hear yours

… is where we get to be selfish, and speak our truth.

But let’s be honest. This whole process has been a constant exercise in living outside of my comfort zone and of course I get to post first (thanks Ciara for that! 😂).

So, I figured I’d start with the last year and how I’ve learned to be selfish with my energy. I know that as soon as I post it I will have instant vulnerability hangover. I will want to take it down and OFF the internet because we all know things last forever on the internet.

But that fear goes away quickly, as soon as one person comments or says it resonates. I’m just here to share my story. I hope to hear yours.

1 year ago

It’s hard to know where to start, but about 1 year ago feels right. It was 6 months before my 30th birthday. I was having a hard time connecting to my life and my choices. I felt stuck. My boyfriend Andrew and I had been together for 6 years, and I was having serious doubts about my career, where I was living, and what my life was going to look like.

Following the joy & curiosity

I don’t know that I have a good reason why I realized I needed to start prioritizing myself. And let’s be clear, it’s not that I actively started saying no, it was that I started saying yes to so much more. The things I have wanted to chase for a long time, but have been scared of.

I started to become honest with myself about the things that have been making me most happy, and those that were creating more stress in life. I stopped putting restrictions on myself, or limiting my goals, because of some pre-conceived notion I have of what my life “should” be like.

I promised to follow things that made me happy. I started saying yes to only those things which I felt would bring me joy.

In the last year, life has changed SO MUCH. Let’s recap what experiences the process of learning to say YES included:

Getting married! After deciding to get married and planning a wedding in two weeks, Andrew and I surprised our parents by celebrating our wedding on our 30th birthdays.

I have said yes to the uncomfortable. Yes to learning how to be with friends in pain, incredibly deep longing pain. I’ve allowed myself to feel fully the fear, anger, and terrible sadness.

Yes to moments of connection, of laughter, or saying yes to my dreams (which are continually developing) and yes to moments in nature.

I started a podcast with my best friend Andrea called Friends in Pursuit. The process of using my voice has taught me to be curious but share my story.

You only have so much energy and you have to choose wisely in how you prioritize. 

The messy process of re-prioritizing brings its own set of challenges. Where you spend your time shifts. The people you see regularly change. That requires messing up, and you will probably hurt someone’s feelings along the way. It’s a fine line to walk to be selfish with my energy but also to be kind. These are the things I am constantly learning.

The process of starting Inner Circle Co has been a process of me putting myself first. What is our dream? What kind of world do we want to design? What actions do we want to take?

There’s incredible power in being selfish with your energy. You start to answer those 3 questions and amazing things begin to happen.